I see him.

I see him.

I see him. Solid and strong, willing to suffer for us everyday. I see his rough, grease stained hands. I see how gentle they are when they wipe away little girl tears and pet tiny kitten heads. I see his dirty, worn out boots, sitting in my living room, getting oil and dirt on my freshly swept floor. I see the many miles of dirt and diesel they have trudged through to bring us what we have, and I worry a little less about the floor and a little more about his feet. I see his ragged, worn out jeans laying on the bathroom floor, still wrapped in a ten year old belt that is three sizes too big. I see all of these little things that come together to make the man. Then I feel him. I feel his presence before he even walks in the door after work. I feel him standing behind me, kissing my neck, as I make supper. I feel his eyes on me as I walk through the house making sure everything is in it’s place. I feel his arm wrap around me in the middle of the night. I feel the love flowing freely from him. My heart overflows. I see him.


My heart is hurting.

My heart is hurting.

This world brings me to my knees sometimes. There is so much violence and hate. Shaming and demoralizing. How do babies (and by babies I mean children still being raised) even make it? Oh that’s right, they don’t. Our society has some of the highest dependencies on drugs, alcohol, and even legal drugs. Prozac, Xanax, Wellbutrin. Painkillers, body enhancers, sleeping pills. It’s rare to find someone not on them. What does this say about is? How have we gotten this far? Why do we raise our children, expecting them to be respectful and display proper behavior, without actually showing them respect or even proper behavior? Violence begets violence. I’m not the perfect parent. Nowhere near. I have spanked, yelled, demeaned, and shamed my children. The behavior I was trying to elicit from them was not forthcoming. They only got meaner. Or shut down completely. It is a heart wrenching thing to see a child’s soul being crushed to fit into societies perfect little box. To watch the light leave their eyes and their awe of this beautiful world diminish. Sometimes I wonder if this mistreatment, however good intentioned it is, of our children will be our downfall. Next time you are angry with your child, instead of yelling or hitting, hug them. You will be surprised at the healing qualities of that hug. For the both of you.

This post has not been approved by the FDA. Please consult your doctor……You know the rest.


So some mom friends and I were talking about small things that make our kids miserable or just a bit sick.  Or what to do if, God forbid, we ever came down with anything!  Healthcare is ridiculous right now.  For most of us it’s not cost effective to go to the doctor for every cough.  Nor do most doctors know how to treat plugged ducts or pink eye without antibiotics.  (Which is another post in itself!!)  I have been treating my family for seven years without the aid of a doctor.  I’m not saying that is going to be what works for you but though someone could benefit from the knowledge I have gained.  AGAIN, NONE OF THIS HAS BEEN APPROVED BY THE FDA!!!!!  Do not try these things randomly and expect the results of antibiotics!  Also, do not be stupid.  If you have previous maladies such as heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, please use caution!  Before trying any of this DO YOUR RESEARCH!! . These are just things that I have researched and used for years. So, without further ado, my “medicine” cabinet!

Bach’s Rescue remedy: I haven’t had to use this very often but it’s great for emotional or physical trauma. My midwife used it on Eleanor right after she was born because she wasn’t responding as well as she would have liked. Seconds later she perked up! We also used it when Anamarie cut her leg pretty badly. Actually, I think I took more than she did.

Esberitox: These are little chewable pills that can help you get over bacterial and viral infections. It’s worked best for us if we start taking it when we start feeling a tiny bit under the weather. We ALWAYS keep it in stock!

Colloidal Silver: You can get this in liquid or gel. I wouldn’t go higher than 10ppm (parts per million). You can use it for everything! We used it on Anamarie’s leg, pink eye, mysterious rashes, small cuts and scraps. We have even used it for our dogs! One of our dogs was a rescue off the streets and he didn’t eat well for a week. I started putting silver in his water and he was eating fine within a day!

Vitamin D drops: Good for daily health boosts, especially in the winter. We found some that we love that are 1000 IU per drop.

D-Mannose with Cranberry: These are pills that are excellent for UTIs in all ages. You can also get just D-Mannose powder.

Papaya chewables: Perfect for when you overeat or perhaps indulge in something that might not agree with you. I have also used them for mild heartburn.

Probiotics: We take these as much as possible. We currently like the Renew Life brand. They aren’t too expensive, they work, and they don’t have to be refrigerated.

Herbs for Kids QuietTummy Gripe water: It’s the only one I have found that is just herbs and nothing else.

White Willow bark: The original aspirin! Takes about 30 minutes to work but works just as well!

Dandelion Tea: Ok, this one I just love to drink. The girls do too! It’s good for your liver and kidneys and has lots of other wonderful benefits. Plus, it makes a decent coffee substitute for when I’m pretending I’m going to quit drinking coffee.

Dr. Christopher’s Sting and Bites ointment and Comfrey ointment: The Stings and Bites works amazing on everything from mosquitos to ants and even wasp stings. (Although chewed Copenhagen is the best for wasp!) The Comfrey helps with skinned knees, skin problems, really most skin related stuff.

Arnica gel: AMAZING for bumps, bruises and sore muscles. I should probably buy stock in it………

Garlic ear oil: Great for ear aches and outer ear infections. You can also take colloidal silver internally for the infection. The oil feels better if it’s warmed slightly.

I have just started using essential oils but these are the ones I’ve really liked so far.

LAVENDER: Perfect for fussy babies, stressed out mommies and eczema! Actually, it’s good for most skin irritations, even burns!

PEPPERMINT: So far we have only used it for tummy aches. Mix it with a carrier oil if putting it on your skin. We have sprinkled it on our couches when the dogs brought in ticks. We don’t have anymore ticks in our furniture!

SERENITY: This is a blend from DoTerra. I LOVE it! It is perfect for those days when EVERYTHING gets on my nerves.

These are the things that always have a place in my medicine cabinet. I have used them numerous times for many different ailments. I hope you can find some inspiration for your own research into natural medicines!

On the day you were born.


On the day you were born I was not expecting you. You were taking your sweet time coming, just like your sisters. But I was only 41 weeks and a couple of days. It was a Friday. We had just moved into our new house a month before and were in the process of selling our old one. We chose the closing date knowing we had a few more days before you would come. I wasn’t even having any Braxton hicks. I should have known something was up though. As soon as Papa walked through the door, I urgently needed to take a shower. The rest of the night passed uneventfully.
Anamarie decided to wake up at 5 that next morning. I was super sleepy so I let her come to bed with us. She kept wiggling. I was thinking please go back to sleep, when a nice strong contraction hit. I didn’t think too much of it because nothing had been happening lately. That was at about 5:15. Around 5:30 another contraction hit. This time it felt like I peed. Dang it. I was going to have to get out if bed. Once I did the contractions kept coming and I did NOT pee. This was actually going to happen. I still wasn’t convinced though. Casey got up and started getting ready for work. I started getting breakfast ready for the girls. I couldn’t even get through that without having to stop and breathe. I tried to eat something but couldn’t and I had to go to the bathroom several times. Finally, when Casey was about to walk out the door, I told him he wasn’t going to work. That’s when it all took in a dream like quality. I know my parents came to pick up the girls and I know I called my midwife. I also remember walking endless circles around my living room with Casey holding my hand. I kept thinking, this baby is gonna come out before the midwife gets here! Well, she got there around 7:30 ish I think. That’s when I needed to get to the bedroom. I could feel the pull to it! Right before I crossed from the laminate floor to the carpet my water really broke! I don’t remember length of times but I remember getting really tired. I was standing at the foot of the bed and I really wanted to get on it but just couldn’t make myself. At one point you flipped or adjusted and I grunted loud. It was almost comical the way everyone’s heads snapped up. It was the first time I realized my midwife and her assistant were really there! Finally, I just needed to sleep. I was so tired. I felt like I could push but that it wouldn’t do any good. I just needed everything to stop for a minute. I climbed up on the bed and fell asleep. For maybe a minute. I know I did though because I had little mini dreams. Then I needed to push. I pushed a couple of times on my side and got your head out. Then my midwife had me get in my hands and knees. You came out within a couple more pushes. It was around 8:35. I was really shaky and was afraid to hold you so I told Papa to pick you up. You were a bit lethargic so the midwife put some Rescue Remedy on your feet and you started perking up. You didn’t really want to nurse so the midwife passed you on to Papa, checked for tears and went to get me some food. Your first nursing session was on your Papa’s pinky finger. You two have been wrapped around each other’s finger ever since. Soon we settled in to get to know you. We took an herbal bath and the midwife cleaned up while Papa called everyone. Your sisters came to see you around lunch. It was then we realized we were closing on our house today! I asked my midwife if I could go and she said as long as I took it easy. You should have seen the faces of the people when we told them you were born earlier that morning! It was the quickest house closing ever! You have been blowing and going ever since. Nothing stops you and you will do EVERYTHING on your own time. I’m so glad you chose me to be your mama. I love you my sweet Ellie Bean. Happy Birthday!






Bring on the judgement


It finally happened. After almost 7 years living in a small, close-minded town, I got called out in my parenting. I’m still irritated. This could possibly get ugly.

My 4 kids and I were happily playing on a rainy day. I was wearing Will in an Ergo (which are AMAZING by the way). Another mom smiles and asks, “Are you one of those crunchy moms?” I just laughed and said yes. I’m very proud of my “crunchy” status. It took lots of years and tears to find a way that worked so I don’t mind being called crunchy. Then she looked at me with one of those stern teacher looks and said, “You aren’t one of those moms that doesn’t vaccinate and uses hocus pocus medicine are you?” My children (and lots of others) were there so I just snorted and rolled my eyes at her. Well, since it is still bothering me, here is my response to you, you nosy ninny.

Why yes, I am one of those mothers. One of those mothers who have spent hours researching in the wee hours of the morning. One of those mothers who stays up with her babies all night when they are sick, just to make sure they are still breathing and not in too much pain. I am one of those mothers who watches her children like a hawk when flu season hits so I can head off any sickness at the pass. Now if by hocus pocus medicine you mean breast milk for my infants and toddlers, then yes. I’ve even been known to put some in eyes for pink eye. No we do not go to the doctor. We haven’t had the need. I have been able to help my children through common childhood illnesses by supporting their bodies with my hocus pocus medicine, aka breast milk, nutrient dense foods and homemade bone broth.

As for vaccines, no we do not use them. They do not work for us; not that that is any of your business. But since you started this subject let me ask you a few things. Are you pro life? Do you shout it from the roof tops how terrible women who chose abortion are? Well if you are why in the world are you vaccinating?! They are ripe with aborted fetal cells. If that isn’t a big deal to you how do you feel about injecting formaldehyde into to your hours old infant? I could go on and on. But here’s the thing. I don’t give a flying fuck what you do with your children. (Unless you are abusing them; then we will have issues). You are not my mother (although she doesn’t have say in how I raise my children either), nor are you my husband. You have no reason to question MY parenting. If your concern is your children being around my “dirty, unvaccinated” kids then let’s talk about that. Vaccines work, right? That’s why you give them to your kids without question? Then why the hell are you so concerned about my children giving your children something? As a matter of fact, one of my children got whooping cough from *gasp* a recently vaccinated child! Guess what happened? She survived. Her immune system is hella strong too.
Don’t even get me started on herd immunity. You realize we haven’t had herd in 30 or so years? Vaccinations don’t last like naturally acquired immunities do. So that means that our generation isn’t “up to date”. Probably haven’t been since we were in junior high.

Yes, I realize vaccines are amazing science. But nature is perfect. We are perfectly made. I will get a lot of shit for this but sometimes kids die. It sucks ass and is probably one of the worst things in the world. But did you realize more children died of routine infant circumcision than the flu? Before the flu shot was marketed for children! Science is awesome but its not perfect. Human error is still rampant in every aspect of medicine. So no, I will not blindly follow a doctors orders to inject all sorts of abnormal chemicals into my children’s blood stream. By the way, most people will never be exposed to that many viruses all at once. Even if they were, the viruses would pass the mucous membranes first and their immune system would kick into overdrive, fighting the viruses before they got to the blood stream.
So, there it is. I’m one of those moms. My kids are dirty hippie kids who shouldn’t be allowed around your children. But you know what? If that’s the attitude you let your children see (and mimic, because you know they will), then I don’t really want my kids to hang out with yours.

I’m raising my kids to think and question and research. Not to blindly follow anyone with a flashy sign; and certainly not to judge people from a couple of tidbits of information.

I’m back!


I finally got a new phone and downloaded the app for this blog. Yay! While I was “away” nothing super interesting happened. My hubs got a new job, I got a new car, the girls got new dress up stuff. Woo hoo. Actually, the dress up clothes are pretty awesome. If you have never heard of http://www.sarahssilks.com you need to check them out. I REALLY wish they made adult dress up clothes! These are just a couple of outfits we got.


They are so awesome! Anyway, that’s about all we have been doing. More to come!